This is a topic that has been running through my head a lot the past few days and I finally decided to write about it.  Not sure how it will end up but here goes.  It’s also a re-post for those of you that got the early feed, due to some technical errors (user-related perhaps..) only half of the article went out.

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Exploring personal responsibility and all that comes with it…

Now when I’m talking about personal responsibility here, what do I mean?  It’s not a talk about paying your bills and that sort of thing, though one would hope you already understand that concept; but what can I say, I’m a dreamer at heart after all.  What I’m talking about here is being responsible for the way YOU feel.

Have you ever had one of those days where you come home from work after a bad day.  This job just leaves you feeling so depressed.  Or maybe after seeing someone, you leave feeling that every time you see this person you feel guilty or sad, maybe even happy.  Why does this occur?  From where do these feelings arise?  Does the world and those that inhabit it have some power to decide how you feel?

The short & simple answer is NO.  Then how is your current state of mind determined?  What causes your mood to change throughout the day?  It’s a pretty cool question once you sit and really take a moment to think about it.

Got it figured out, or did you just skip ahead and not even think about it?  Do you know the answer?  Who decides how you feel?  Here’s a tip in case its not coming to you yet, look in a mirror.  Yup, that’s right, YOU decide.

But how can this be?  I didn’t say, “Gee I want to be sad right now.”  You’re right, you probably didn’t say that, at least not consciously.  Let’s take a look at how you operate on a typical day.

Throughout your day you are overwhelmed with various kinds of sensory inputs.  Examples of these inputs would be TV, radio, conversations, traffic, everything that goes on in your life.  Your mind is essentially taking everything in and processing it.  We’re so programmed and asleep that your mind actually runs on auto pilot after all these years.  It makes decisions for you subconsciously based on your past experiences and beliefs.  This is were your current moods and feelings come from.

Your mind is really like a computer.  It’s awesome at processing things, and if left unchecked, it will run on auto pilot and lead you through your days.  Now just like a computer it’s neither evil or good, iIt just is.  Think of it as a tool at your disposal.

The only problem is when you leave your mind unchecked and begin to identify yourself as your mind, then you stop consciously making decisions, and your mind takes over.  This is what I mean by being asleep.

Walk with me for a bit and keep an open mind as we take a look at this simple example.

Let’s say you wake up feeling a little tired.  It’s been a long week and looks to be another busy day, and all you would rather be doing is sitting on the beach sipping on a margarita.  On your way out the door your significant other kisses you and tells you how cute you look. “Yeah right,” you grumble as you walk out the door.  “They’re probably just saying that,” you think to yourself because you know you look like hell, regardless of what you have just been told. That’s if you even thought about it..

Fast forward through the day: it’s been busy, lots of customer to please and bosses to keep happy.  Out of the blue an old friend stops by.  While catching up on life they mention how good you’re looking today.  This immediately perks you up, puts a little pep in your step if you will, and you smile.

Now let’s investigate this situation.  You were the same person in both situations.  No major life experiences occurred to change the person you were throughout the day.  Someone that loves and cares about you deeply and an old friend, someone how also cares about you; both gave you similar compliments.  One had no affect.  The other lifted you up.  Why?

Do you care more about what the old friend thinks that then person you share your life with?  I certainly hope not!  What is it then?  What caused the difference in your reactions to essentially the same words from two different people?  Why was there a difference in the way you felt after each experience?

Because you decided there was a difference.  Whether consciously or not, YOU decided.  Maybe your significant other always tells you these things and now YOU expect to hear them.  Subconsciously you probably have a default program running that says ignore compliments about my looks from hubby. Okay maybe not that bad, but something to that effect. I don’t know your answer, only YOU do.  But an old friend that hasn’t seen you in ages, well that’s another story. They didn’t have to say that.  In fact maybe you’ve actually gained weight since last you saw them, but they still said that and YOU decided it felt good to hear. Maybe you have a default program running in the back ground that says when people you haven’t seen in a long time say nice things, it makes you happy. I know this is a simplistic analogy, but I’m only using it as an example.

Are you starting to see what I mean?  Are you waking up to grasp this one?  Or still stuck in the mud blaming someone else for the way you feel?

It really is a lot to take in, but keep an open mind and try this out: as you walk through your day and your emotions teeter totter back and forth, try saying this to yourself.  “I DECIDE HOW I FEEL,” and then ask yourself is this how I want to feel?  Check it out and get back to me.  Let me know how it turns out.  I’ve decided I’ll be happy to hear from you, regardless of the news you bring me!

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