I believe the reason people smirk when I say I go to the movies alone, or have the same reaction to someone eating a meal at a restaurant by themselves, taking a vacation or going to a concert alone is this: there is a stigma attached with attending a social event in a non-social manner.  We imply that being alone is synonymous with loneliness, two extremely different things.  There is a stigma attached with being part of a social gathering or event in this manner because it is impossible to be social when you attend alone.  People are afraid of how their image will be portrayed if they are seen like this.  It warrants pity and questions from onlookers, much of the time without any measure of evidence other than the subject is not with someone else. 

Try and make time for yourself once a day.

With many of our busy lifestyles, time alone seems an impossibility sometimes, even more so when considered that it can be acheived daily.  Try not to think of it as so much of a formal experience, but rather something that is part of your day.  If you’re the type A personality, realize that in the long run, the stress that will be relieved and the clear thought that will come from just a few minutes of rest will help you be more productive.  Give yourself 10 minutes of your lunch to find a quiet spot and shut your eyes during work, fall asleep to a favorite show after the kids have gone to bed, or talk a walk after work.  The important thing is that you do it.  It doesn’t have to be active, it doesn’t even have to be meaningful or a long period of time.  It simply has to be yours.

Acknowledge it.

You’ve taken some time and given it to yourself, now what?  A lot of these opportunities will be to “wind down” from the work day and just to tune out from stress, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to turn your brain off.  Trust me, I can understand not wanting to think about work, finances, chores, and everyday problems - that’s not what I mean by keeping an active mind.  Let your thoughts focus on the moment.  One of the favorite parts of my day is the walk through the city from the parking lot down to my workplace.  It’s early morning, and in the summer the breeze and sounds of the city often calm me.  I don’t dwell on the issues I’ll have to deal with once I’m inside, I just enjoy the sensory experience and let any thoughts flow.  Focus on the spaces in between your thoughts as well as the thoughts themselves.  Thinking naturally, if that makes any sense, can be enlightening and adds a little variety to the thought processes we’re railroaded with throughout the day.   So next time you’re alone, take in your surroundings and let your mind wander.

Don’t be self-conscious.

If you’re bold enough, don’t be afraid to go out and do things by yourself every once and a while.  Sometimes treating yourself to a dinner, movie, quiet walk or shopping excursion can be just what the doctor ordered.  A lot of people may shy away from this one and think “why would I do that when I can just call up my friend and go with them?”  That’s a very good argument, but not one that’s really valid in this context.  You can’t get the same experience alone as your can with a friend or group, so why should you expect the opposite to be true?  This is time for you, and it’s about inner dialogue and exploration - two conversations are hard to hold at the same time. 

Use it as a tool to make you more whole.

I’ve always found that a certain level of detachment from the everyday grind left me feeling recharged and more mentally aware.  Be cognisant of the fact that there is a definite line between introversion and detaching on purpose.  Are you an introvert normally?  Are you getting to a point where being alone is the only time you feel comfortable?  What techniques or activities have you found make you happier in daily life?  These are all questions that if answered honestly can help you take the time you spend with yourself and foster it into a tool that allows you to be more adept socially and spiritually.  Use all of the avenues available to your for self-discovery, from meditation to journal writing to simply “shutting down” for a while.  The next time you venture off, whether it’s on the couch or the trail, think of why you’re enjoying that moment, how it makes you feel, and what benefit it will bring you in the future. 

Enjoy It.

This one’s pretty straightforward.  Above all, if you’ve given yourself time, regardless of the reason, use it for that purpose and achieve the result you’re looking for.  Is to de-stress?  Is it to unplug from technology?  Perhaps it’s for a little hard-earned entertainment and a night out.  Whatever the reason, make the most of it.

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